About “Are You Dying?”

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It all started when…

Several years ago, I was very depressed…and well, I drew myself out of it.

Depression made me feel empty. It was hard to move, hard to socialize, hard to care. And hey, I didn’t like that. But I didn’t know why it was happening. Why was I sad? Was I really sad? Or just lazy? Or just useless? Or just…etc.

One day, without even realizing it, I had drawn a little man. and he was wearing the same outfit I had on at the time, and he was sad. That was the first time that I could really admit that I was sad. And the importance of that moment didn’t escape me.

So I kept drawing him. Mostly sad at first (he’d dropped his Ice Cream on the floor), but then angry sometimes (stomping or thrashing about). And it made me laugh. It made me say, “Is that how I look?” I felt connected to him and for the first time in a LONG time, I felt connected to my emotions.

So I kept drawing.

Days turned to weeks. Weeks into months. Months turned to years…and I had drawn so much. I had drawn what my problems looked like. So now I knew what they were. Now I could actually do something about them. Now I had a reason to try. It wasn’t for me. It was for him. it was so he wouldn’t be sad anymore. It was so he could grow and get better.

And it worked.


A story…

Not too long after making HE, I made a slew of other characters that embodied other parts of myself. Many of them out of balance. As I dealt with my issues I tried my hardest to be honest with the journey I was on, I saw a story developing. I’ve always been a writer and I’ve created quite a bit of characters and stories (though I’m really bad at posting/publishing any of them…). But I really felt like this one should be told. It meant something. First to me, and then to the people I showed. And then again, at art shows and performances where I brought my work.

So this site is the culmination of several years of growth, self-discovery, and honestly just tearing myself into pieces… but then picking each one up and trying…

my very hardest…

to tell it…

it was beautiful.

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